does this mask make me look fat?

Mardi Gras will soon be upon us like an unsympathetic fat asshole (he calls himself big boned). Except what makes this a simile (i.e. unrelated for the dim amongst you) is that we have the French (well, more specifically the Christians) to thank for this ridiculous holiday before Lent when everyone wears cheap and essentially crappy beaded necklaces and considers themselves colorful (read: slutty) enough for the day. Anyway, that's the silly American version of it. Disclaimer: I've actually only been to the shitty Cambridge one, so I can't speak for the others in the country.

The best parties, of course, will be in Venice at Carnevale (and also the perfect opportunity for you to pull off a stereotypical Italian art heist), so I recommend that your start buying your masks and costumes now. In fact, it may already be too late. Glastonbury's sold out without a definite line-up being announced and it's a fair bet Wino will either not show up at all, or if she does she'll try to punch audience members. You've been warned!
But back to topic. Carnevale is from Friday, February 13th (ooh fear factor ten) to Tuesday, February 24th.

I know I put up a lot of useless links, but if you've never bothered to click any of them, this one would be a good start. Head over to Camacana to check out their beautiful handmade masks. Trust.