sassy

I'm no fashion expert, but then again neither is Clay Aiken, so I don't know why the hell he's going to be on America's Next Top Model. Just because he's gay doesn't mean he knows anything about clothes or modeling or whatever.

I couldn't stand to watch Tyra's giant forehead keep bringing on the crazy the past two seasons. Bitch please! I promise you that never in a million years will I use the words "fierce" or "SMILE WIT YO EYEZ" here. If I do, feel free to murder me. (The previous does not count)

But back to topic. With this news, however, I suspect that Paulina Porizkova won't be coming back. Ah well, I liked Twiggy better anyway. But Mr Coyne likes Paulina because apparently in his youth (I think that means the 80s, not sure) he used to go clubbing a lot and smoke cigarettes and so on. Anyway, this one time when he was going out for a smoke, he bumped into Paulina and her really drunk friend leaving (as he said) "a bachelorette party gone wrong." Anyway he started squealing and being like "OMG! You're Paulina!" (also verbatim) and apparently he helped her out and got the drunk friend into a taxi.

He also told me that he thinks he could go on Oprah and do college counseling shit and meet urban youth and be like "You have no home but we're sending you to college!" He thinks he'd be really good at it.
I half-agree. I think he should go on Oprah and talk about his celebrity encounters and his opinions on Jessica Simpson's weight. He also told me that he's had experience on talk shows too, which is good to know. Apparently also back in the day, he was an audience member on Ricki Lake's talk show and ended up yelling shit at the guest like "YOU GO GIRL!" and "DUMP THAT BITCH!" I love when one sassy audience member (i.e. Mr Coyne) starts yelling out advice and all the homegirls start clapping and shit. Beautiful.

P.S. No matter what the caption says, I'm pretty sure that's a sassy black guy in a wig.