got love for you

I have returned after months of abandonment to solely comment on the fact that I am being told that '90s fashions are in again. I could have sworn that we'd just spent the last 19 years trying to erase those memories. My earliest memories of the '90s include being born, obviously, and given that, this really is a personal lament.

Yet now that I consider it, I'm not sure why I was so surprised to hear it. The hipsters at Darwin's have been rocking the grunge-y chequered shirts and general "I don't take a bath regularly" look for quite some time. (Does this mean my Nirvana poster is cool again? Ironic hipster answer: yes.) Also, acid wash denim kept showing up all over the place, as well as over-sized blazers, leather coats, harem pants, and cropped t-shirts (today's culprit: Forever 21). I've even heard rumours that a sequel to my beloved Clueless is in the works. All in all, I had done a pretty good job ignoring the glaringly obvious for the past few months.

They've updated nearly every piece of '90s clothing there ever was, but WHERE ARE THE ACCESSORIES, I ask you! If you're going to do the '90s, you have to do it right. Here is a brief list of decade-defining items that I demand be returned.

1. Slap-on bracelets. If you don't know what these were (!) and never owned one, I can only conclude that you were living as a hermit on a column. If I remember correctly, I was a fashion pioneer and owned this shit in blue leopard print. In fact, since animal print is cool again, you could actually kill two trends in one with one of these.
2. Butterfly clips. No longer for reserved for 5-6 year olds! I think you can still get them in glittery colors at your local Walgreens. Along with your fake-hair scrunchies, an obvious must for every wardrobe. (Also remember to get your pacifier necklaces.)
3. And finally, FANNY PACKS. No explanation needed. I suggest they update them for the future and make them in shiny PVC material (to draw attention to the goods, y'know) as well as the classic pink and green neon polyester.

nooooo

Ho hum pig's bum. I am so bored and yet I know I have a million year's worth of work to do. Isn't that always the case. Anyway, a major playa hata known as Punxsutawney Phil (what the phuck?), the groundhog, has predicted that we have six more fucking weeks of winter because the selfish asshole saw his shadow this morning. Phuck you Phil, I don't need this shit! But in six weeks we'll be skipping off to March break anyway, so I guess I don't care too much.

To keep your mind off these sad times, here's Take That with a lovely new song while they stumble around like lost old men on rocky outcroppings, dragging along microphones, looking for Glastonbury, probably. Don't worry, Take That, you may actually be over the hill, but I feel like an old person sometimes too... you know, like people in their horrific fourties. It tends to happen especially when I listen to Bedtime Magic (it's not what you think it is) on 106.7.

Anymidlifecrisis, is it weird that I think Mark Owen is REALLY attractive? I mean, more attractive than Colin Farrell and Westlife put together even. There's a very good chance that Mark Owen is twice my age and I'd Wikipedia that, but I'm too lazy.

Here's the attractive bugger.