D:< !!!!!!!!!

OMGWTF WHY IS FLO RIDA (really creative, you asshole. I think my rapper name will have to be Massac Husetts... not funny) RUINING MY LIFE! First it was Rihanna ruining Dragostea din tei for us all, but then she got beat, so I'm not allowed to say anything bad about her.

BUT THIS MOTHERFUCKER went ahead and destroyed one of the most beautiful wannabe Boy George+David Bowie songs ever. Yes, I'm talkin bout Dead or Alive. Well fucking Flo Rida is DEAD TO ME. Supa playa hata if I ever saw one. I nearly jumped out of my seat when I heard it and a poor little junior didn't even know that it was a much better song before. If you can stand it, here's his fucking ABOMINATION of a song.

On the other foot, here's Falkor and some great hair to help you cope with all the grief:

nooooo

Ho hum pig's bum. I am so bored and yet I know I have a million year's worth of work to do. Isn't that always the case. Anyway, a major playa hata known as Punxsutawney Phil (what the phuck?), the groundhog, has predicted that we have six more fucking weeks of winter because the selfish asshole saw his shadow this morning. Phuck you Phil, I don't need this shit! But in six weeks we'll be skipping off to March break anyway, so I guess I don't care too much.

To keep your mind off these sad times, here's Take That with a lovely new song while they stumble around like lost old men on rocky outcroppings, dragging along microphones, looking for Glastonbury, probably. Don't worry, Take That, you may actually be over the hill, but I feel like an old person sometimes too... you know, like people in their horrific fourties. It tends to happen especially when I listen to Bedtime Magic (it's not what you think it is) on 106.7.

Anymidlifecrisis, is it weird that I think Mark Owen is REALLY attractive? I mean, more attractive than Colin Farrell and Westlife put together even. There's a very good chance that Mark Owen is twice my age and I'd Wikipedia that, but I'm too lazy.

Here's the attractive bugger.

poseidon approves

This is what I like to hear. Michael Phelps may be the son of Poseidon, but he's also an expert pothead! British tabloid, the News of the World, got a hold of some pictures of him gettin sexay with a bong in November. Said some big-mouth onlookers,

"He grabbed the bong and a lighter and ripped a huge smelly bong rip. He knew exactly what he was doing. He looked just as natural with a bong in his hands as he does swimming the backstroke."

I love these statements that these anonymous bitches make. Reading that made me feel a little sick, but you know that you jizzed your pants just then. Anysexybong, some playa hatas out there are saying that it's no good and it will make him a bad role model for aspiring Poseidons in the world. So our little fishy friend released a statement saying that,

"I engaged in behaviour which was regrettable and demonstrated bad judgment... for this, I am sorry. I promise my fans and the public it will not happen again."

Well I know that Rindge just opened a new pool and this is just proof that the power of weed can make you into a living dolphin god. Be sure to see lots of stoners at the pool soon. (Good thing Felipe's is nearby.)

wtf

Okay, when I started up this thing (er, about four days ago) I said to myself that I will try to keep politics out of it, but it's really difficult not to when there are so many good and bad things happening.

In fact, I'm going to take a little tangent even before I begin. It was actually ridiculous how much the rest of the world cared about our last election and how excited they all seem to be by this. (Germany, I'm talking to you.) The days leading up to election day, my cousins who live in the beautiful and muddy country of Chaucer's Englonde pretty blatantly told me that it was my duty as a citizen of the world to vote. Blimey O'Reilly, keep your knickers on.

Anycrazybritishpeople, I know I just poked fun at the Duggars, but at least they keep their crazy in the family. Today, I have taken issue against the Westboro Baptist Church who are planning a protest at Rindge in March. As far as I can tell, they are the biggest group of playa hatas I've ever come across (congratulations, Lyndon LaDouche, you've been usurped). They are, in all seriousness, a hate group, and they appear to hate Jews, Catholics, gays, Americans in general... and um, everyone ever.
The horrible thing about these people is that they hate and seem to thrive on the hate they generate against them from other people. I don't know if they're trying to pull some martyr shit doing this, but they certainly aren't any crown saints.

On the bright side, gay penguins get married!