D:< !!!!!!!!!

OMGWTF WHY IS FLO RIDA (really creative, you asshole. I think my rapper name will have to be Massac Husetts... not funny) RUINING MY LIFE! First it was Rihanna ruining Dragostea din tei for us all, but then she got beat, so I'm not allowed to say anything bad about her.

BUT THIS MOTHERFUCKER went ahead and destroyed one of the most beautiful wannabe Boy George+David Bowie songs ever. Yes, I'm talkin bout Dead or Alive. Well fucking Flo Rida is DEAD TO ME. Supa playa hata if I ever saw one. I nearly jumped out of my seat when I heard it and a poor little junior didn't even know that it was a much better song before. If you can stand it, here's his fucking ABOMINATION of a song.

On the other foot, here's Falkor and some great hair to help you cope with all the grief:

fake bodega

Kanye is talking about some useless crap again because apparently some people called him out on this photo he took during Paris fashion week. Anyway, he responded with some "I'm really secure with my manhood" shit, yes yes we all believe you please put away your shutter shades and shut up now.

This post is not actually about Kanye though! Please feel free to take a bong hit a la Michael Phelps to celebrate. I try to bring in a little love on a Thursday evening. This is, actually, a post about the street style store (NOT) Half-Way Crooks. In case you have not yet had the misfortune to hear about this fine establishment, here is the spiel from the horse's mouth:

"America is fascinated with the swagger and poise of romanticized gangsterism. Full out criminals are base and vile, yet certain types of stylized, confident and shady characters are idolized: There are such things as half-way crooks."

I think the only people interested in "romanticized gangsterism" is Al Pacino, the fake mobsters off the Sopranos, and maybe Kanye. Even then, at least he's not a white Conservative who lives in Newton. I'm just sayin'. But, I'll be honest, I've never been to the store, though Luke told me that it was in a cramped basement, generally a massive disappointment, and he is now ashamed to have even been associated with it. Good.

Anybodegawannabe, last I checked, they didn't even carry the very essential kicks, only had overpriced tees, and Suga Daddy was threatening to turn the place into a cafe like he originally planned. But according to the Vanguard, they've finally moved up from the basement to a real place that slightly resembles a store. Finally worth a trip?

ugh hipsters

Lots of hipsters in the news today. Our first story is about the three-second marriage between 19-year-old Peaches Geldorf and her musician husband, Max Drummey, who have called it quits after six months, which is far longer than I expected those two disgusting hipsters to last. Well done! Now Peaches can go back to do whatever it is that she does... which I believe is living off her father's money and doing nothing. This is all sorts of bad for Drummey then because even if he signed a pre-up quicksmart like any self-respecting gold digger, Peaches doesn't actually do anything with her life. What a pity. Anyway, those two fools released a statement to the BBC, in which they said,

"After much soul-searching we have made the mutual decision to end our marriage and have agreed to go our separate ways."

If by soul-searching they meant searching for coke and being dirty American Apparel hipsters, then it was probably relevent for the two seconds they were married.

Anyway, moving on to our sad story of the day. A hipster has died and gone to hipster heaven (where I suspect there are plaid shirts and tight jeans galore) and his family are unsure what to do with all his ironic hipster things. They have contacted an antique dealer to help them sort through the rubbish because they aren't sure which items have any value to them. Apparently the passed-on hipster was an avid collector of eccentric, cheap, and old things, including mismatched sets of cups and plates. His mother told the Onion that in his apartment she found an assortment of useless coffee mugs,

"This one says 'Hands Off Howard's Coffee.' I find it strange that he owned that, considering that he lived alone and never mentioned a friend named Howard."

The Onion knows what's up. Sadly, I think the mug is really funny and I probably would have bought it, too.

beardy strikes again

Now normally I don't like the Sartorialist. Actually, I tell a lie, I do like it quite a lot but I just fucking hate all the people who comment on it. For Christ's sake please please shut up. As a dead broke student just trying to figure out how to pay for college, I really can't be arsed to coo over thousand-dollar coats, handbags, and gloves. Also, I don't own a proper pajama set, sorry. But I don't know anyone who does, so fuck that.
Anyway, now that all my anger has been released... I'm not really a fan of much above, though the tie has some great detail and the bottle green is pretty Harry Potter, but the BEARD is great. El Greco, take note.
Wow. I actually can't stop looking at it. It's like a warm kitten on the chin, all fluffy and clean. Yeah, it occurred to me that this guy may be way more attractive without the beardiness, but what are you gonna do. Anyway, thank you, Mr Sartorialist for helping the crusade to bring back the mutton chops!

on the topic of attractive hipsters

While I'm on the topic of people I shouldn't find attractive but do, let's talk about Johnny Borrell. This also ties into the hipster thing that this blog supposedly talks about, but in reality has nothing to do with, so hurrah!

In case you are lucky enough to have never heard of Johnny Borrell of Razorlight (the Stroke Juniors, in my mind), I hope his head explodes with this revelation, the arrogant bastard. In essence, he's the Kanye of the indie world (well, Kanye is also the Kanye of the indie world but disregard that for now) because he's always making comments to the NME about his greatness and attractiveness and so on. Here's a real gem: "I'm the best songwriter of my generation. I've got more songs and spirit than anyone else." And etc. etc. Thank you, please leave now.

Anyway, it's annoying that he's annoying but also an attractive hipster. Also if you bother to Google him, you will quickly realize that he doesn't seem to know that wonderful things called shirts exist in the world. But I suppose all hipsters of the male gender are like that. (I'm talking to you, Luke Pritchard.) It's very confusing.

wtf

Okay, when I started up this thing (er, about four days ago) I said to myself that I will try to keep politics out of it, but it's really difficult not to when there are so many good and bad things happening.

In fact, I'm going to take a little tangent even before I begin. It was actually ridiculous how much the rest of the world cared about our last election and how excited they all seem to be by this. (Germany, I'm talking to you.) The days leading up to election day, my cousins who live in the beautiful and muddy country of Chaucer's Englonde pretty blatantly told me that it was my duty as a citizen of the world to vote. Blimey O'Reilly, keep your knickers on.

Anycrazybritishpeople, I know I just poked fun at the Duggars, but at least they keep their crazy in the family. Today, I have taken issue against the Westboro Baptist Church who are planning a protest at Rindge in March. As far as I can tell, they are the biggest group of playa hatas I've ever come across (congratulations, Lyndon LaDouche, you've been usurped). They are, in all seriousness, a hate group, and they appear to hate Jews, Catholics, gays, Americans in general... and um, everyone ever.
The horrible thing about these people is that they hate and seem to thrive on the hate they generate against them from other people. I don't know if they're trying to pull some martyr shit doing this, but they certainly aren't any crown saints.

On the bright side, gay penguins get married!